Hardships often prepare ordinary people, for an extraordinary destiny… – C.S. Lewis

I know this is a place where I share cakes and all the fun things we do here at the bake shop, but today I am compelled to be a little transparent and give a peek into a very special moment in my life. There are many people I know of going through some hard times right now with the health of their children and I felt led to share a little bit of my own journey…

I will never forget the day I realized Kaitlyn wasn’t mine. She was on life support and had been hanging on to her little tiny life with all her might. Born 16 weeks early and only weighing a pound her health had been touch and go for a long time. We had just buried her identical twin sister and I lived in desperation to not have to go through that again. I couldn’t bear it. I wouldn’t bear it. Surely God would not have me go through such a horrible painful thing again. But really, I had no idea. I had no clue what the outcome would be and that fear of the unknown was tearing my heart apart piece by piece. I remember sitting at her bedside closing my eyes and wishing with all I had I would open them and it would be ten years later. I would know everything then. I would know if she lived, if she was healthy and happy. The threats the doctors made as to her quality of life didn’t help either. They asked us half a dozen times to take her off life support, to spare her and us from prolonging the inevitable. But one day, I sat by her bedside. She was in her little incubator, her eyes covered with a mask, her face hidden by tape and machines with skin so transparent I could see right through it. She lay so still and yet so strong.

I let her go. I gave her to the Lord. I told him whatever his will was with her let it be. I knew she was not mine, but His. That she was a precious gift from Him and if I were lucky enough I would have the blessing of raising her. I knew the chance of losing her was 90%, but I also knew God was more powerful then medicine and whatever His will was for her I would accept. That might have been the worst and most fearful moment of my life. Instead, it was the most peaceful. I was overcome with a peace and clarity that allowed me to make decisions for her medical care not based on emotion and fear. Rather educated decisions led by God. I read up on every condition she had and developed. Every form of experimental treatment they provided, every medication and the side effects. One of her doctors found me reading a medical journal so I could understand all the terms used in her ocular examination. He laughed, I laughed. I had clarity and strength and a focus on my God.

Very soon I will open my eyes and it will be 10 years later. She is more remarkable then I ever could have imagined. The sweetest and most innocent little girl. Her heart is compassionate and kind and very, very silly. There is so much more to her story, so many miracles that I hope to one day share. The greatest honor of my life is to be her mother, to raise her and get her to the place God has meant for her to be. This Sunday she is going to be baptized and publicly proclaim that Jesus lives within her and that she lives for Him. What a miracle and an incredible blessing He has made! Let us rejoice in His glory and be reminded He has an incredible plan for us all!

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I am an artist at heart so sculpting things is my true passion! And I only do it if I know I can make it look just like the object I am sculpting. In this case it was an open mouthed bass and I love him!!

You can find the article on Dallasnews.com here

And on Confection Confessions here

Photographs by Meshali Mitchell